positivethinking

So many of us live in the past, where we doubt ourselves, feel guilty, and allow ourselves to dwell on these events in our lives that will inhibit us from enjoying the present. There are also many of us that live in our dream of what we want for the future, which also doesn’t allow us to focus on the present. How can we live in the moment?

When working with children, there are so many opportunities in the day that are called teaching moments. These are not written in a lesson plan, but allow for us to live in the moment. Let me give you an example. When walking outside, we might see several butterflies. In seeing a butterfly we can talk about how it flies, what color it was, and even explore even further and talk about the metamorphosis of a caterpillar. We can even sit down a draw what we’ve seen on our learning moment.

We all have what is called gut instincts, feelings that we should be listening to that come from some unknown place in our bodies. This can keep us lined in the present, because these feelings force us into acting in the present.

I know for me, I have a full-time job, kids, and am in school. So, I do take life one day at a time. Now, I’m not always living in the present, I admit; but I am much more lax in my views, and allow myself to live day by day. I’ve learned that we can’t expect our dreams to always pan out, and we have to make the best of what we have. Most of us have a great deal to be thankful for, and I focus on these aspects of my life. This is so much more valuable to me, and allows me to conserve energy.

Yes, I do often reflect on the past, because I know that it has shaped who I am, however, to let these events hold me back would be a shame. I challenge you to think about how you can continue to live in the moment, and not dwell in either the past or the future.

We all have negative circumstances in our lives, and we all have the same power struggle when we try to remain positive and stay focused on positive elements in our lives. It does happen with a lot of work.

I also received a suggestion from a friend last night, as I was venting my stresses. She said, write down all of the items that you were upset about this past year and then write down the outcome. Write down how you were feeling at the time, and then review the end result. She said that then you can visually see how you were feeling, remember how you were feeling, and then the relief that you felt after there was some resolution.

I really liked this idea. In counseling you’re often asked, “what is the worst that can happen,” and this practice sort of reiterates that questioning. Did the worst happen or could it have been worse?

I really like this exercise, and I’m now recommending it to you. Tell me if this works for you.

I love the story of Disney’s Chicken Little. Chicken Little, no matter his size is an inspiration to children, and I have to admit that I love his positive attitude. He has it pretty rough with restrictions, teasing, and ultimately he’s always trying to show his father how to prove himself.

Yet, Chicken Little always says, “Today is a new day.” He puts his hurts aside, and hurdles forward thinking that there will be some resolve in his new day.

Most of the time it works for him. Now, he does confront the issues that bother him, as all people need to; however, he remains positive about every day. He does prove to people his worth, his ability regardless of his size; and he always has a positive attitude. He influences his friends, his father, and ultimately the audience watching the movie to see that when you have a positive attitude, and realize that today is a new day with excellent opportunities, you can be successfull and have joy.

I know most of us don’t have this logic, because we worry about our children, our jobs, etc. But, think of how beautiful it will be if we can all think of starting today with a fresh slate. Today can be a new day.

I know that many of us get stuck in a regiment, continue to follow it, because it’s easy to do, we know what we’re doing - but we’re not happy or using our full potential.

I was listening to Joel Osteen one day and just say there thinking of how stuck inside my own walls I was. I felt empowered after hearing him say that we can do better and that we can change our lives and participate fully in something that we are called to do. I felt butterflies in my stomach as I realized that I needed to take a stand and go for the job that I wanted to get.

To do so, I needed to make some financial sacrifice to move forward in this new venture for myself. I knew in my heart and my soul that I was ready for this next step, and just like Joel Osteen commented, that sometimes we just need to take a leap of faith.

I put in my resignation at my former employer, and I studied diligently to get my CDA which would put me in line for the job I have now, teaching preschool. I wanted it more than anything. I could taste the yearning and the greatness of the opportunity. I did need to take that leap of faith, and I’m so glad I did. I listened to my hearts call. I was inspired by what Joel Osteen had to say, and I will continue to remember that sometimes we just need to take that leap of faith.

I like being able to recognize value in situations. It’s something that I’ve grown to accept in myself, and it’s been a challenging transition for me. I realize completely that not all situations can have value, which is sometimes hard for me to understand or realize; however, I still force myself to remember that.

I believe in coincidence and consequence. I believe that there are good reasons for situations and that we can take value out of situations, both positive and negative. We make of situations what we want or can; and this often revolves around how we feel about the situation.

We’re all confronted with situations that we don’t like, that we cringe at, but I believe we can grow from these situations and learn something new about ourselves. It’s not an easy road, but we can remain positive, and continue to seek the lesson in situations. Again, I understand that all situations aren’t valuable, but we can take value when we need it, when we seek it, and when we learn from situations.

How about you, can you share how you can take value out of a situation? Journaling is a great way, that I use.

I admit, I’m one of those people that writes everything down in a to-do list to make sure I don’t forget something. This works for me. While I might not enjoy every task listed, I enjoy the sense of accomplishment that comes with completing the task and checking it off of that list.

Too many of us, in this day, feel we need to be multi-tasking to be successful and to get everything done. I don’t mean folding laundry and talking on the phone, but I’m talking about more important items that might not be your favorite task. We get too wound up in finishing everything, and we don’t take time to actually fully participate in something and enjoy it.

Chances are, when you invest yourself 100% into an activity, you will enjoy it - and it will take you LESS time than if you were trying to multitask and do something right along with it. Yes. It’s proven.

How many items do you try to multi-task that could be taking away your attention? How about driving and talking on the phone? Or, working out at the gym and trying to either read a book or watch tv? While these examples rate differently on the dangerous scale, they both exhibit ways that you multitask and not fully give yourself to these tasks. You don’t pay as much attention while driving and talking on the phone. You don’t work as efficiently at the gym if you’re doing something else. and your body isn’t getting the best workout.

So, what can you do? Slow down a little. Reassess areas of your life where you make an attempt to multi-task and see where you might be able to rearrange your time to give your undivided attention. Time management is always a crucial part of our lives, however, there are always faults in the system.

Good luck. Let me know what you have done to rearrange your time.

The best advice that I could give to any new parent, friend, co-worker, etc is to be flexible. Change is pretty much the only constant in life and in many circumstances. If we don’t allow ourselves to be flexible, we will be a nervous wreck, allowing anxieties and other people’s expectations to rule us until we flip out. Why would we want that to happen?

I just started a new job teaching preschool. I’ve been teaching for over seven years to college students and early elementary students (in my homeschooling program). While this adventure isn’t totally new to me, working in a school setting, along with a variety of other teachers is.

We were given a little goodie bag before school started with some neat stuff in it and a quote that said:

Always remember to be flexible and that it’s okay to make mistakes. Please don’t wait until Crunch time to turn in your lesson plans. Orbit around the room. You will always leave a permanent mark on all the children. God will always be with you, as you help them to come out of their cacoon they will emerge with the knowledge of God’s love.

Inside the bag was a rubber band to ensure that we are flexible. For making mistakes we received an eraser. For crunch time we received a crunch candy bar. For orbiting around the room we received a pack of orbit gum. For permanent mark we received a sharpie. For God will awlays be with us we received a cross pendant. For cacoon we received a small plastic butterfly. These simple items help me to remember the influence that I have, and that it takes me being flexible to transcend into these children’s lives and make a difference.

Now, this applies to everyone in their jobs and circumstances. We can all use a little goodie bag like this that help us be flexible.

Tell me what you do to help keep you flexible.

“Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.”
— Janet Lane

I like this quote. It reminds me that sometimes you just have to pretend, put a smile on your face, and go with the flow. I love Dory in Finding Nemo because she always has an approach to life’s problems, “Keep on swimming, keep on swimming…” It’s really simple when put in those lamen terms.

There are studies that show that when you make the decision to be happy, you are more likely to be happy. If you wake up and acknowledge that you are going to have the best day that you can, your day will become the best day that it can.

When you’re feeling low, find something to smile about. Chances are this will lift your mood.

If you’ve seen the movie Patch Adams, you will know that laughter is and can be the best medicine. Laughter is an excellent stress reliever, and it’s hard to fake laughter. Once you start to fake laughter, you almost immediately start to laugh at yourself for being so ridiculous - sort of like how it’s impossible for any human to lick their own elbow and most people try it anyway. Yeah, you’ve heard that, I’m sure. Same logic goes behind the idea of laughing, or pretending to laugh.

So, in pretending, you will more than likely find something to be positive about, and in that day you will feel better about yourself and circumstances. Watching a fun movie, reading a good book, going to the beach, are all things that will get me out of a grumpy mood.

What about you? What makes you boost yourself, even if you have to pretend?

Realize that every day is truly a new day. We can wake up refreshed and ready to face our own personal challenges with a new perspective. This has truly helped me in the past year, when I’ve had many new changes in my life: divorce, losing my home, moving with my children, and an upcoming custody dispute.

I have to realize that every day has hope, light at the end of the tunnel, and is a new opportunity for me to shine and work on myself and the plan that God has in store for me.

Now, I’m not saying I don’t have bad days, but I do look at every day as new. I spend a few minutes every morning stretching, praying, or preparing myself for the upcoming day. This makes me feel more prepared and relaxed. I can more openly explore the days needs and those of myself and my children. This time is a valuable resource to me that I thrive on.

There is something good in every day if you allow it. Try journaling your thoughts to test this theory out and see what you can come up with that is good. I promised myself for my New Year’s resolution that I was going to be more honest with myself, that I wasn’t going to hide behind my upsets and sensitive feelings.

Realizing every day can provide a fresh start was so helpful for me, and allowed me to remain focused on my posiitve thoughts, my agenda as a whole, and prepared me to spiritually be more open and receptive.

You try. Tell me what you think of this challenge.

We all need someone that can provide support in our lives, whether that be friends, family, counselors, support groups, church family, etc.

I’ve learned throughout hard times to ask for help and support. I realized how hard this was for me. I felt that I could handle all of my problems and that I needed to rely solely on myself to solve problems, but I realized first hand how unrealistic this expecatation that I had was. Now I reach out and get hugs when I need them. I reach out and call my friends when I need an ear to cry to. I’ve even been known to show up at a friends house unnannounced just to get a nice big bear hug.

I’ve realized that ensuring support is not a sign of weakness, but this allows us all to be stronger individuals. By reaching out to supportive hands, we show that we are human and that we can build on our relationships and provide support to one another when we are in need.

It’s not easy to hide our shame, embarrassment, and hurts, and it’s even more difficult to reach out and ask for help. Do it anyway. You will be surprised at how many people are in the same position as you, yearning for a supportive hand or ear. You are not alone, and there are people all around you that want to help out; whether that be a dinner with a family friend, a cup of coffee one quiet and rainy afternoon, or someone that can listen to you pour your heart out and provide tissues.

Love one another. Be strong and reach out. Ensure that you have the support that exists around you.