positivethinking

Sometimes I feel empty, alone, and tired. I’m sure everyone can relate to one of these emtions, if not all of them. I’ve found that being around children, and giving to others is something that helps me through the hard times. Even when I’m feeling so burned out and I just want to hibernate for a week, as soon as I get around children that are laughing and having a good time, my mood lifts. I feel my load lighten, even if just for a little bit.

In this past year, I’ve been through domestic violence, divorce, and custody dispute. I’ve felt empty, exhausted, alone, and just numb. I’ve found some solace in the fact that I’m able to enjoy the beauty of children, the laughter that exudes from them with the littlest effort - I personally enjoy fish faces. Children laugh over 300 times a day, where adults might laugh 15 times a day. I definitely want to be around people who laugh more.

Did you know that laughter is literally medicine? This is proven by doctors, including Patch Adams. If you’ve seen the movie, you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t seen this incredible film, please do. It stars Robin Williams and is based on a real doctor that continues to impact the lives of individuals in his practice.

I have found that watching animated films, comedies, and stand up comedies help me get through the day, especially if I’m down. Just the act of laughing is helpful. Now, when you combine the ability to give to others with laughter, you get a combination that is magical. You can literally see fireworks in my eyes when you watch me interact with children and have fun.

I’m pretty sure I’ve proven, atleast to myself, that giving to others boosts your mood, your ability to exude positive thoughts, and positive energy - which is what we all need.

Now, I know that the concept of unconditional love is a difficult one to broach, however, to radiate positive thinking most of the time, it is important to understand how unconditional love relates to this concept.

In church last week, the service was about Agape love, which broken down is people choosing to love someone or something, with feelings of love coming later. We dedicated our love to these individuals because they are deserving, even if they don’t show this to us yet, because the unloved need to also be loved. If we choose as individuals to break outside of our shell and provide love to people, they will start to grow and change, and see things in a different light, and start to radiate love to others as well.

By our attitude and our ability to provide Agape love, the world can be surrounded by unconditional love.

Now, it’s different in comparisson to the love of a mother and child. It’s easier to love a child unconditionally, but the concept and premise behind it is the same. Because I’m a mother, I have chosen to provide Agape love, and love my child unconditionally. Something that I’ve come to understand is that not all mothers have a natural love for their children, and can resent them after they’re born. This concept to me was unbelieveable. I couldn’t even fathom not loving and being excited to birth my child into this world. However, these parents grow their love for their children because they have decided to provide Agape love.

The chain reaction of showing Agape love to people is unconditional. When we can show people in simple ways, acts of kindness and love, we are providing them with an unconditional love that can change their hearts and souls forever.

We’ve all heard the expression the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but how many people have you spoken to that have this philosophy feel they’ve ever been on that other side of the fence? Probably none. I doubt that it even exists, which is fine for me, because I focus on being appreciative with what I do have. I rejoice in what I know that I have, and if I need to change something that will benefit me of my family, I sit down and write down goals, items I want to accomplish, and strategically plan what needs to happen as a result.

I don’t wish that I was on the other side of the fence. I make myself a little square of grass that can be greener (if we need to use this analogy) and fertilize it. I allow it opportunities for growth. I water it, maintain it, and show it love. Eventually, things fruit when you pour yourself into it. When we are passionate, motivated people with drive to do what is in our hearts, there just isn’t any comparison to someone else’s grass.

We have it all. We believe what we have is valuable, worthwhile, and an incredible asset in our lives. This is the attitude that we need to take, because this will promote positive changes in our lives.

“We become what we think about all day long. “
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love simple quotes like this one. It allows me the opportunity to reflect and spend time recognizing what I might be spending my time thinking about?

Have you ever just started the day out sour? Did you continue the day in the sour mood, or did you resolve that despite the bad morning, that you could still have a good day? This is putting the key to success and following Ralph Waldo Emerson’s quote.

If we continue to dwell on having a bad morning, the rest of the day is probably not going to get any better.

Have you ever met someone that is just happy every morning? They might have also had a bad morning, but they have decided that they were going to have a good day, and they are making sure they follow that principle and personal choice. It makes sense, but can be difficult to practice.

I like to be able to laugh at situations and have a good sense of humor. It makes the situation easier to deal with, and I think having a good sense of humor about situations will just allow us to release tension and stress. I think about what someone else would see if they were watching me have a bad day. Usually, it does look pretty funny, and this allows me to laugh.

And honestly, if I just am having a horrible day, I sing the muse song of Dory’s from the film, Finding Nemo, “just keep swimming, just keep swimming….” I do this with my kids as well, because it allows them to think about something positive and delightful despite their sour mood. It does really change the way you perceive the situation.

Try keeping a statement (or picture) like this in the back of your mind, or better yet, in your vision on a regular basis so that you can see that life can be made positive, and that you don’t have to dwell on a bad moment, that could turn into a bad day, and create a domino effect.

Vini. Vidi. Vici.

The simple act of choosing to believe in ourselves can make such a dramatic difference in our lives. Have you ever received praise from a loved one, them standing over your shoulder and offering you praise? You know that you can do something because other people believe in you.

The same is true for you believing in yourself. When we find little things that we can believe in ourselves for, we have a better self-image and understanding of what we can do, and accomplishments we have succeeded in.

For me, I made a decision to attend a program online to finish my Bachelor’s Degree and receive my teaching certificate. It was a hard move for me. I thought, “I’ve got so much on my plate right now,” or, “I have to put energy into _______ (fill in the blank),” but I realized that these ultimately were only excuses in the end, and that I could accomplish this feat if I really put my heart into it, and believed in myself.

The solution wasn’t simple, but I know that if I work on my school work and assignments consistently and put energy into maintaining an organized schedule, that I can do it.

Now, I admit that some other areas in my life have fallen a little, but I have made time for what is important to me.

I do have a great family as well that are behind me all the way and supporting my effort to go back to school. I’m very happy about the progress I’ve made, and I do believe that I can do it. This has helped me, and when I doubt myself, I turn to those that can help praise me - including my own children.

This quote is from Rusell van den Berg and was shared with me in a class on self-esteem. We were asked to reflect on the quote, and then discussed what it meant to us.

The moral of the discussion was, what do children know that adults lose as we age? The ability to have fun. The ability to dance, laugh, tell jokes, and be silly with unconditional passion and zest for life. Why do we lose this? Society teaches us that it is inappropriate, inconsiderate, or just silly. But, why let society interfere with the children who know? We’re all children of someone, and just because we age, doesn’t mean that we can influence ourselves and others to have fun.

Have you ever noticed that you have a great lift in your spirit when you’re around children, or when you laugh at something a child does? This happens to me all the time. I see a baby in the store, and I instantly smile. I see a two or three year old pondering simple items in the grocery store, and I laugh and wave at them. These simple gestures of childhood or being around children are extremely influential.

What activities did you participate in as a child that you absolutely loved? Did someone in your life ever put you down for this? If so, let it go now, and try again. Heck, you have a lot more experience under your belt now, so give it another try. If not, awesome.

I recommend watching The Pursuit of Happyness with Will Smith. There is an incredible scene in the movie when he is upset, down on life, and makes a comment to his son. He then reflects for a moment about what he said, because it wasn’t very nice, and then he tells his son to never let anyone ever tell him something negative about what he can and cannot do, that no matter what other people say, when you believe in yourself, you can make it happen.

This rang so true for me. We can create a life filled with happiness, and joy, no matter how great or small, and be content with it.

So, keep this phrase next to you, and when life gets you down, look at the phrase, “Wise are the children who know,” and do something playful. Chances are, you’ll also get a lot of people that ask you about it, and you can share with them the inner meaning behind the phrase as well.

I think we all face challenges. We are always faced with conflict, and that is often sometimes change that we are forced to confront, and is often a requirement of life. We can choose to accept the bumps, ride with them; and hopefully learn and grow from them, or we can let them jolt us, and dwell on them. Note to self: It’s always harder to dwell on them instead of riding the bumps.

I have to tell myself this too, because it’s easy to let your expectations or other people’s expectations get in the way of our plan, our intention, and our time. This can cause bumps or friction in our lives; but everything is manageable.

Find something or someone that you can turn to that will allow you to vent, calm down, and refresh yourself so that the bumps aren’t so bad. Turn your bumps into opportunities to grow and stay positive.

I enjoy listening to motivational speakers. I listen to CD’s in the car, or download excerpts from iTunes. One of the greatest tips that I received lately from listening to these inspirational speakers, is to spend more time at the center of you.

I know I let the expectations that other people have on me, including work, school, kids, etc; dictatate a lot of the time that I spend in my day. But, when I carve out a chunk of time for “me” to be at my “center”, I feel so much more positive about my life, what I’m accomplishing, and can really appreciate the effects of the day so much more.

Now, I say “me time,” but that often sometimes only transcends into five to ten minutes at a time. It even sometimes feels like stolen time; but it is what I genuinely need in my day. So, I steal the time to make it happen. It usually works. If I’m feeling uptight or stressed, I’ll zone out for five minutes and do something I feel I need to do; whether that is nothing, or reading something inspirational.

You deserve it. You need it. Being at the c, enter of you and ensuring that you are at your best will surely improve what you have to offer others and improve your productivity in any given situation.

So, take some time today to feel centered.

What does it generally take for you to be inspired? Is it a cup of coffee with some quiet music in the morning?

Is it reading some passages that make you feel good?

Is it taking time to reflect on your accomplishments, no matter how hard or small?

Be inspired by the little things. I have found that these are what matter the most in life, and we gain a lot more from them than large events. When we take time to appreciate the little things, we become inspired.

For me, it’s working with children. To see their faces light up, hear laughter, and to see them wave good-bye knowing that they had a good time is it for me. In that moment I feel as though the world has stopped rotating, and I’m at peace. I live for that, and I can picture that experience if my day isn’t as productive as I want it to be, and I can be inspired to interact with kids and know that I can have an incredible time and have fun with others.

What inspires you? It doesn’t take a lot of time to think about something that allows us to be inspired. Yesterday, I talked about having resolve. Resolve today to recall something that inspires you, and make sure you carve out five minutes of your day to make sure you feel inspired. For me, looking at pictures of my kids or fun events gives me the motivation to go on, and be inspired doing so.

Have an incredible day.

I love the word resolve. It has so many definitions listed in the dictionary, which I’ve included below. I think the first example provides a great distinction for what resolve is, which is to determine. 

  Part of the essence of positive thinking is to make sure you resolve to be positive. Think about the positive things in your life.One great example that I took out of watching The Secret was the gratitude rock. If you haven’t seen this film, I highly recommend it. It shows you the power of abundance and positive thinking.  

There was a man who tells a story of an individual who gave him a gratitude rock, and he has resolved every time he takes it out of his pocket, which he keeps with him regularly, he thinks about something that he is grateful for. This simple act allows him to resolve to be positive.  Something as simple as a rock did this for him. To learn why this rock was so valuable, you’ll have to go out and watch the film, or read the book. 

    Resolve to find something in your life that you can do the same thing with. Sometimes it’s a wedding ring, or another piece of jewelry. A lot of people wear lockets. Resolve when you hold onto the locket or see the piece of jewelry to think about something you’re grateful for.  

  It’s not difficult, but it does take that resolve and dedication to make it happen.  

  I leave you today with the definitions for resolve. Read through them and see how powerful a word resolve is.  

–verb (used without object)